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Breaking up (with friends) is hard to do

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friendship
Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Some people will tell you that having toddlers are harder than having babies and that teenagers are harder than toddlers. I have always said that each stage is different and comes with different challenges. 

Eventually, you get to the stage where you start to step back and guide your kids as they start to tackle these challenges on their own. You can’t do everything for them forever, and they won’t grow as a human if you solve all of their problems for them. 

And when life throws you curveballs, like a pandemic, you need to be even more patient in your guidance because you’re faced with challenges no one ever expected — lockdowns, physical distancing, and virtual school.

Maintaining friendships wasn’t something that could happen every day at school. A conscious effort was made to keep the kids connected with their friends in any way they could. We went from trying to limit their time on their phones to allowing them more time so they could Facetime, call, Discord, anything which helped them be social.

After 18 months of virtual school and a disjointed connection with their friends, the girls went back to school in September. We talked with the kids to prepare them for the potential changes that may become more apparent. But I’m not sure Craig and I were prepared for what actually did happen.

One of our girls had a core group of friends and for the first few months, everything seemed to be going fairly well. Some of the kids had become closer to some than others, but, hey, that happens with adults too.

At the end of October, we noticed that things with the friend group were starting to change. New people were being included and others were stepping away. The ebb and flow of friendships.

Some of the changes weren’t all that great. By February, the dam burst.

One of the closest friends, through a text chat, accused our daughter of manipulating them and other hurtful accusations. Our daughter got manipulated by this teen so badly in this chat that she apologized for things that were not her fault and that she did not need to apologize for. And at the end of the chat, the other person said…

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” 

Her confidence was shattered. There were so many tears. We were so upset. I was shocked when I read the text message thread. How could one teenager be so hurtful?

My heart broke.

Over the next few days, my daughter told us that she was eating alone in the library because she didn’t want to be with a group of friends due to that one person. I wanted to scream. This manipulative kid gets all the friends and tramples on my kid’s emotions.

This is where I could have stepped in and called the other kid’s parents to let them know what was going on, but I didn’t. Having parents jump in a try to force a friendship back together wasn’t going to be good for anyone.

Then we spent the next few months trying to build our kid’s confidence back up. We encouraged her to reach out to other friends, and join groups or clubs. We made sure that she stayed connected with the rest of the friend group outside of school so she didn’t feel like she lost everything.

Thankfully, after March Break, more activities at school started back up. Now it’s April and there are a few new friends to have lunch with, clubs and choir at lunch, and band after school. 

We are so proud of how she handled this whole thing. Not once did she say anything bad about this other person. Not once did she try to turn the other friends away from this person. She took the high road and walked away. 

One of the things that I am thankful for is that my kid was willing to talk to us. Our family communication is amazing. She knew that she could share this with us and that we would love and support her. I think that this may have helped our family communication become even better. Every day we check in with each other to see how each other’s day was and we celebrate the good and support the not-so-good.

She knows that she did the right thing, even though it wasn’t the easiest. The things that she has learned about herself through all of this are some of the most important things she will carry through life. 

What an amazing summer it is going to be!

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My amazing Summer started off with a trip to Montego Bay in Jamaica! It was awesome, but I will leave that for another post.

I’m so excited for the rest of the summer! So far, I have been hanging out with my friends and having a great time. We’ve gone to the park, the mall, and the movies. We saw the new Wonder Woman movie… it was amazing!

Volunteering

I volunteered at the grade 8 grad with my Dad, and my friends Lauren and Ben. I handed out programs to the parents, while Lauren helped with audio. Ben helped back stage. My Dad was taking photos for the yearbook, which he also designs.

This week, I am also volunteering at my church’s VBS summer camp (Vacation Bible School) with my friends. I haven’t been to VBS in a couple of years, as we usually are away camping, but this year, we came back just so we can go.

Another Amazing Summer at Niagara’s Lazy Lakes!

Tonight, we will be heading back to the #SilvaBulletRV at our home campground Niagara’s Lazy Lakes (in Lewiston, New York) for the weekend. We’ll get a couple of days of relaxing at Lazy Lakes before heading off to Ohio with our camping family! I am so excited to be spending a whole week with them at Wally World in Loudonville, Ohio.

Wally World in Ohio!

Wally World is one of my favourite campgrounds. There is so much to do around there. They have an activity complex a few minutes down the road with go-carts, high ropes and low ropes courses, a mini golf course and lots more. You can also rent canoes, kayaks, or tubes to float down the Mohican river.

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A couple of years ago when we were camping there, I canoed 7 miles down the Mohican River with Mom and Lauren. The end point is right by the campground, which is really convenient. Dad followed our journey in the truck and took some awesome pictures.

Another one of my favourite things is visiting the Amish market near the campground. When you walk in, it’s like you just walked into bakery heaven. The awesome thing is that everything there is homemade. I especially like the apple butter and the ice cream.

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Camping at Lazy Lakes and Bronte Creek

After a week in Ohio, we will be heading back to Lazy Lakes for a couple of weeks, then a week at Bronte Creek Provincial Park, and then the last two weeks of my amazing summer will be at Lazy Lakes.

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At Niagara Lazy Lakes, there are two pools and a playground. But we always have things to do, whether the weather is good or it is raining. We have lots of games to play, movies to watch, and colouring books. We also have Storm, who loves our attention all the time, and loves to cuddle and run around.

We also get to spend a week camping at Bronte Creek Provincial Park, which is close to our house. We have only been there to visit the petting zoo and play at the activity barn. We have never camped there, so I am really looking forward to spending the week there.

The most amazing summer ever!

This is going to be the most amazing summer ever, and the best thing is I get to spend it with the best people in some awesome places!

Cheers,
Rachel

Let The Summer Begin!

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My favourite part about the summer is spending time with friends and family! In the summer we go camping in our travel trailer. It’s called the #SilvaBulletRV.

Camping is so much fun because we get to see our camping family. We have become very close with some friends at our campground. They are just like part of our family. I am so excited for when we go to Ohio because I will get to ride in a go-cart by myself! Ohio is going to be so much fun because we are going with our camping family. I am so excited!

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l love to go to the park and play with my friends at camp. Going swimming at the campground’s pool is so much fun. I get to make big splashes when I jump in! Swimming is the best this year because I can go to the pool with friends, and not have to have Mom and Dad come with me. I never swim alone, because it is not safe.

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Summer break is awesome because we don’t have to do any school work! Lots of popsicles and freezies for all those hot days. Even if it rains, we still have fun! I like to ride my bike and go on bike rides with my friends!

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Last year in the summer was lots of fun. We went to Universal Studios! I went on a few of the roller coasters!

We went to 3 campgrounds on the way to Orlando. While in Florida we stayed at 2 campgrounds. We stayed at 3 more campgrounds on the way home. We were so excited to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It was amazing! We tried some Bertie Botts every Flavour Beans, Butterbeer, Frozen Butterbeer, and Chocolate Frogs. We had lots of fun at Universal Studios.

I cannot wait for the rest of the summer. We have a lot planned. It’s going to be so much fun!

TTFN,
Lauren

how do you sum up a 35 year friendship?

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On Saturday, I had the honour of being a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding.

Normally it’s just the maid-of-honour who gets to do a speech, but since we have been friends for so long, she asked me to say something.  It was hard to know what to say since we’ve known each other for so long.

Here are my notes but I didn’t always stay on track….

Shannon and I first met when we were 3 years old.  My family moved in to the house across the street from her family.

We shared so many memories in those early years.  I’ll share a few with you…they won’t be chronological because I’m not sure of the years, but the memories are so clear!
I don’t think there were many days where Shannon and I weren’t together.  Before school — My brother and I would go over to her place before school.  We’d play on the Atari or she’d play us a song that she had learned in piano lessons.
At school we were together — We were in the same class from kindergarten to, I think, grade 3. As I said, I don’t quite remember what happened at what age.  I want pause for a second and say how happy I am, and I know Shannon is too, that Mrs. Smith, our Grade 1 and Grade 2 teacher, is here today!
After school and on weekends we were together too!
There were days of playing Dukes of Hazard with the other kids in the neighbourhood. Or what ever other game we happened to make up that day.  Our imaginations took us to so many places.  I can remember riding our bikes pretending we were bus drivers.  We’d ride all over the neighbourhood for hours!  Until my Mom rang the bell (and I bet Shannon still remembers the number of rings) or until the lights came on.
There was a phase when we obsessed about wanting braces.  We’d use the foil wrappers from the cafeteria hot dogs and pretend that we had braces. Lucky me, I actually ended up with real ones.
In grade 3 we made mail boxes out of construction paper and sat under our desks, only replying to people through the mail.  That year we also choreographed a dance to Eye of the Tiger.  Hey, Theo…do you have that one??
It was fun things like that that kept us close.
One Christmas, Santa brought me a Cabbage Patch kid.  I was ecstatic! I had been asking (probably begging) for one but my parents kept reminding me that Santa would bring some of the gifts on my list, but not everything.  See, Cabbage Patch kids were a hot item that year; sold out in every store.  When I was old enough to know the truth, I learned that Dave was my Santa.  He managed to get his hands on a doll, called my parents to see if they wanted one for me.  Thank you Dave!
Now, Cabbage Patch kids come with a name, but you can change it when you adopt them.  I would like you all to meet “Alicia Shannon”.  She was named that because I liked the name Alicia…and Shannon because she’s my best friend.  Our Cabbage Patch dolls have their own funny stories too…strange ones about utensils (completely an inside joke…but a fond memory)!
So many memories.
Even after my family moved, we did our best to stay in contact.  But as we made new friends, we just didn’t have as much time for each other.  Our lives took different paths, but we would still come back together every once in a while and we’d share more good times.  It didn’t matter how much time had passed since we last saw each other…we just seemed to pick up where we left off.  I cherish this bond that we have…friends…no matter what.   Her family is my family, and mine hers.
When Shannon and I were little, my mom and dad would be invited over for “cookies”!  They kept calling it that even when we got old enough to know that they were actually being invited over for a cold beer.  Shannon, I’m sure your mom and my dad are are celebrating this amazing day sharing some “cookies”.
And it truly has been an amazing day!  Shannon, I’m so happy that you and Jake found each other!   I can see how happy you are to be with Jake.  Thank you Jake, for making Shannon so happy…keep it up!
I would like to propose a toast to Shannon and Jake and to their new lives together!  Cheers!

The day was amazing! The ceremony had some great personal touches — he’s a cowboy and just before they kissed, he lassoed her. Very cute! We got to get the photos done outside since the weather was beautiful. The day ended with dinner and dancing until we ran out of steam.

Congrats to Shannon and Jake!! I’m so excited for them both as they start this new chapter in their lives!

My blog is Pink today to support #DayOfPink

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DayofPink is the International Day against Bullying, Discrimination, Homophobia and Transphobia in schools and communities. We invite everyone to celebrate diversity by wearing a pink shirt and by organizing activities in their workplaces, organizations, communities and schools.
In our house, everyday has the spirit of DayOfPink.  
There is no place for bullying and discrimination.  

We teach the girls to love everyone and treat everyone as they would want to be treated…no matter what!
What are you doing doing to support DAYofPINK?