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Being The Emotional Support Your Teen Needs

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In case you’ve forgotten, going through your teenage years can be tough. There are all of the physical changes of puberty, the plethora of effects hormones can have, as well as social and lifestyle changes to accommodate. Stress, anxiety, and even depression can become a lot more common during these years. So, what can you do to be the emotional support that they need?

Picture – CC0 License

Talk about it

It might sound simple enough, but there are so many topics that can go unaddressed or under-addressed in the average family home, and mental health is one of them. Learn how to talk to your teen about mental health. Check in with them on a regular basis, and make sure that they know that you are a safe place to confide in. Most importantly, listen to them and take the time to verbally acknowledge their emotions. You shouldn’t always try to “fix” what is wrong, even if you feel like they are thinking or doing things you don’t like.

Establish healthier patterns of living

There are many lifestyle factors that can help improve mental and emotional health. It’s not as simple as finding the right band-aid for the job. However, helping them find a workable schedule and routine for school life, encouraging them to join you in getting active more often, and setting a bedtime to make sure that they get enough sleep. Of course, don’t mistake these healthier patterns of living as a working treatment if they are in real emotional distress.

Know when to get some help

There’s a lot that you can do to create a home that is a lot more emotionally healthy for your teens. However, you can’t always be the only help that they’re going to need. Whether they are dealing with things that are a little more than you’re able to handle or you simply acknowledge that they could use help with their emotional health, you should always consider youth psychotherapy to be a valid option. A confident, practiced hand can do a lot of good in helping your teen address their issues in a healthy way that they might not learn otherwise.

Mind yourself too

You want to be a pillar of support for your teen, but it can be difficult if you’re not firing on all cylinders. If stress, anxiety, or other worries are getting to you, then you need to ensure that you’re taking care of yourself. Putting a strong front to help your kids is only going to get you so far. Make sure that you’re aware of when you need help, or when you need to pause, re-evaluate and take some action to get things back on an even keel.

Awareness of mental and emotional health, and taking steps to work through them, is an important part of raising a family and it’s not one that a lot of us talk about enough. Hopefully, the tips above can help you be a little more mindful and helpful where your teens are concerned.

Personal volleyball bests at the OVA Provincials

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Lauren has been playing rep volleyball for the last 2 years. The first year started during the fall of 2020 when the pandemic was still fairly new.  Their team was their cohort and they practiced and practiced. Many times they stopped because restrictions changed. It was a strange season with no games against other teams.

Fortunately, beach volleyball is outdoors and the summer of 2021 was filled with lots of volleyball. Lauren’s skills continued to grow and develop. She worked so hard at the court and at our local park… getting her overhand serve was her biggest challenge.  She worked so hard. 

Tryouts arrived. She went. She tried hard and stayed so positive!  And she made the team!

Practices were twice a week, exhibition games with other club teams, league games with other clubs, and the pièce de ré·sis·tance… OVA Provincials!

Day 1

The day started out great!  Lauren surprised us all… in 8 months Lauren went from barely getting an overhand server over the new to jump serves!

 

 
 
 
 
 
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They won the first match in 2 sets — 25-11, 25-12!  And the 2nd match was just as successful — 27-25 and 25-20!

 

 
 
 
 
 
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The third game was more of a fight… won 1st set 28-16, lost 2nd set 22-25, and came back to win the 3rd set… 15-10!

Day 2

The girls went into day 2 with a lot of confidence and excitement!

 

 
 
 
 
 
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First match was a tough fight which ended in a loss (Set 1 – loss 20-25, Set 2 – win 25-11, Set 3 – loss 15-13)

The girls were pretty down. Coach Shayne was great! He gave the girls time to be sad and then built them back up!

The 2nd match was so much better!  The girls won both sets — 25-12, 25-20! It was so amazing to watch them play! It was great volleyball.

 

 
 
 
 
 
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The third match of the day was going to be a challenge. The team they were playing had 4 wins and 1 loss… just like them.  The girls were ready!

They won both sets — 25-15, 25-23 !!

During the 2nd set, Lauren had a 6 server run… all jump servers… with one of the serves being an ACE!  I was the proudest mom in the whole place.

She has worked so hard to improve and be a better volleyball player and at that moment she was a shining star!

 

 
 
 
 
 
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Day 3 – Playoffs

The girls were excited. The girls were nervous.  Playoffs was going to be tough… one loss and you’re out!

The team had their ups and downs during their last game.  They were playing a team that they beat on the first day, but that other team must have found their grove and by day 3 they came into their own.

We lost in 3 sets — 25-19, 13-25, 10-15.

There were a lot of tears.  

But I made sure to remind Lauren of how far she has come. Personally, Lauren was a winner. The photo below is a pretty cool example of what she can do!

 

 
 
 
 
 
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A huge thanks to Coach Shayne for his amazing leadership. The way that he was able to work with a group of girls with varying strengths, encourage the girls when they were down, and have a lot of fun is really appreciated from the view of a parent. I am very happy that Lauren was able to learn as much as she did from him.

Shayne is setting out to make his own personal best… he’s on the path to being a police officer! And he’s going to be a very good one!

The end

The provincial championship is the end of the season. Some of the division 1 teams are headed off to nationals in Calgary and we will cheer loudly from Ontario.

The club will have an end-of-the-year banquet at the outdoor courts so that should be a lot of fun! 

Congrats Lauren on your amazing season! Dad, Rach and I are so proud of how hard you worked and you should be proud of all you achieved!

Breaking up (with friends) is hard to do

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friendship
Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Some people will tell you that having toddlers are harder than having babies and that teenagers are harder than toddlers. I have always said that each stage is different and comes with different challenges. 

Eventually, you get to the stage where you start to step back and guide your kids as they start to tackle these challenges on their own. You can’t do everything for them forever, and they won’t grow as a human if you solve all of their problems for them. 

And when life throws you curveballs, like a pandemic, you need to be even more patient in your guidance because you’re faced with challenges no one ever expected — lockdowns, physical distancing, and virtual school.

Maintaining friendships wasn’t something that could happen every day at school. A conscious effort was made to keep the kids connected with their friends in any way they could. We went from trying to limit their time on their phones to allowing them more time so they could Facetime, call, Discord, anything which helped them be social.

After 18 months of virtual school and a disjointed connection with their friends, the girls went back to school in September. We talked with the kids to prepare them for the potential changes that may become more apparent. But I’m not sure Craig and I were prepared for what actually did happen.

One of our girls had a core group of friends and for the first few months, everything seemed to be going fairly well. Some of the kids had become closer to some than others, but, hey, that happens with adults too.

At the end of October, we noticed that things with the friend group were starting to change. New people were being included and others were stepping away. The ebb and flow of friendships.

Some of the changes weren’t all that great. By February, the dam burst.

One of the closest friends, through a text chat, accused our daughter of manipulating them and other hurtful accusations. Our daughter got manipulated by this teen so badly in this chat that she apologized for things that were not her fault and that she did not need to apologize for. And at the end of the chat, the other person said…

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” 

Her confidence was shattered. There were so many tears. We were so upset. I was shocked when I read the text message thread. How could one teenager be so hurtful?

My heart broke.

Over the next few days, my daughter told us that she was eating alone in the library because she didn’t want to be with a group of friends due to that one person. I wanted to scream. This manipulative kid gets all the friends and tramples on my kid’s emotions.

This is where I could have stepped in and called the other kid’s parents to let them know what was going on, but I didn’t. Having parents jump in a try to force a friendship back together wasn’t going to be good for anyone.

Then we spent the next few months trying to build our kid’s confidence back up. We encouraged her to reach out to other friends, and join groups or clubs. We made sure that she stayed connected with the rest of the friend group outside of school so she didn’t feel like she lost everything.

Thankfully, after March Break, more activities at school started back up. Now it’s April and there are a few new friends to have lunch with, clubs and choir at lunch, and band after school. 

We are so proud of how she handled this whole thing. Not once did she say anything bad about this other person. Not once did she try to turn the other friends away from this person. She took the high road and walked away. 

One of the things that I am thankful for is that my kid was willing to talk to us. Our family communication is amazing. She knew that she could share this with us and that we would love and support her. I think that this may have helped our family communication become even better. Every day we check in with each other to see how each other’s day was and we celebrate the good and support the not-so-good.

She knows that she did the right thing, even though it wasn’t the easiest. The things that she has learned about herself through all of this are some of the most important things she will carry through life. 

How Does Classroom Design Influence Students’ Learning Abilities?

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Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

Classroom design is an important factor in facilitating a good learning environment for students, and one that helps them increase their learning abilities. Researchers at the Universities of Washington and UC Berkeley estimate that American students spend an average of “11,700 hours of their lives in a school building from kindergarten to 12th grade.” For this amount of time, students need to be comfortable in their environment so they can educationally thrive.

Furniture Arrangement

A classroom’s layout has a much larger impact on students than you may think. According to Teacher Magazine, students are more apt to ask questions when placed in a semi-circular format over the traditional rows of desks. When deciding on the furniture’s layout, you want to think about cultivating a comfortable environment so that students are more apt to interact with one another and with the material being taught. However, traditional layouts can be stagnant, so having different options or using flexible classroom furniture can help keep students stimulated. At all times, a teacher should be able to see each child’s face in a lecture style environment.

Create An “Active Learning Environment”

Children are constantly mobile and students need adequate lighting and a noise-free environment to thrive in a classroom. Face-to-face interaction allows students to be more active and engaged with their work. As such, a central tenet of active learning involves keeping students stimulated. To accomplish this, well-conceived classroom design keeps distractions at bay while allowing teachers to effortlessly communicate with students in order to maximize a lesson’s resonance. When students are able to sit on or interact with active, ergonomic furniture, they are more comfortable and can focus on learning. Teachers need to have enough space to reach all students, and can ask for their input in terms of classroom design to see what will make them happiest.

Classroom Decorations

Classroom decorations are a tricky subject for teachers. However, decorations go a long way in helping students feel like they belong. Whether they’re arts and crafts projects, dioramas, or informative posters, it can be beneficial for students to see vibrant, educational graphics in which they’ve invested time and effort.

One Size Does Not Fit All

It is fairly obvious that children are not all the same size. However, in many traditional classrooms, every desk and chair is the same size. With new design and technologies advancing, there are now chairs and desks available that are adjustable based on height. Also, if students perform better in school when they are comfortable, then it’s important to not only have adjustable furniture, but pieces that can adapt to varied styles of learning. For instance, if a student does better when standing, then an adjustable sit-to-stand desk may solve problems of restlessness.

Fostering Good Habits

Providing ergonomic furniture fosters good posture, which is ultimately beneficial for long-term health. When students slouch or sit incorrectly, it can cause pain and discomfort for them in the classroom and in their futures. In their day-to-day experiences, this type of discomfort can distract students from their studies and decrease their learning abilities.

Overall, students benefit from environments that foster their physiological, emotional, and cognitive needs. When classrooms are designed to minimize distraction and discomfort, they can maximize students’ potential.